A letter to Baby K

Dear K,


2017 has been a rough one. I never in a million years thought we would end up here, but here we are. I have had so many ups and downs, so many moments of utter despair followed by moments where a sliver of sunshine has shined through. I have learned how strong I can be. The hardest part about all of this, is having you stuck in the middle. Kenedee you are so strong and so beautiful. I know I might be a little biased, but Heaven truly sent me an angel. I get so overwhelmed when I think about how I am your momma and how I am supposed to teach YOU and help YOU grow. But, this year I have had so many moments where I feel like I am struggling to barely take care of myself, then you come to me and tell me you like the way I did my hair, or reach for my hand, or just lay your head on my shoulder. Somehow you know when I need a little extra love. I was so worried about moving into a one bedroom apartment, I felt like a complete failure that I couldn't provide you your own room. But baby girl you have embraced it! You remind me daily "Momma its not your room, it's our room." I love waking up to see you sleeping(somewhat peacefully) in your little bed across the room. However, it also breaks my heart to go to sleep by myself when you are gone and see your sweet little bed untouched, your blankets folded and your stuffed animals lined up perfectly. I want you to know that we are going to get through this and that I am going to do everything in my power to give you the wonderful life you deserve. Baby girl, if I could I would give you the moon, a princess carriage and even a real car. You are so smart and so sweet. I see you welcome new friends at school. I see you sitting with those kids that don't even know English and just smiling while you try your best to play with them, even though you can't understand each other. I see you holding your babies and rocking them softly while you sing to them. I see you pray over your meals, even when I might forget. I see you cleaning, putting your dishes away, and even packing my lunchbox for work. I love how eager to learn you are, always asking questions. You want to know why you have a shadow, why your hair is curly, why ants aren't allowed in the house, why do people look different and have different skin tones, why do some people go to Heaven sooner than others, and why can't we all live together. Keep asking questions baby girl. Don't ever stop. No matter how grey the skies may be, be that little sunshine that the world needs. I love you Kenedee Alexandria. Nothing will ever change that. You will always be my Baby K.


Love,
Momma